Adult Swim




Kid 1:  “I. C. AND IT’S ABOUT THE INTERNET.”
Leader:  “WHAT IS IT?  I DON”T KNOW.”
Kid 1:  “WELL, I’M NOT GONNA TELL YOU TILL YOU GET IT.”

iCarly, iCarly, don’t suggest the game if you suck at it.  I mean hello?

Leader:  “UMMM, I GIVE UP.”
Kid 1:  “I CARLY!”

I knew it.

Leader:  “THAT’S CHEATING.  MAHHHHHHHM MOM! HE CHEATED HE SAID IT WAS TWO WORDS AND iCARLY IS JUST……..”

Had this really happened?  Had my ipod faded into the background and the passage of my book still not registered after reading it 3 times over?  I was actually angry.  I am so capable of tuning my own kids out, why was I not able to use this skill on someone else’s?

My penthouse suite, which was graciously extended to me when I explained my bi-annual excursion plan, wouldn’t be ready for hours.  I watched as kid 4 goaded kids 2 and 3 by bobbing up and down chanting “DIVE!” every time his head cleared the water.  I guess he hoped this would annoy them. I gave the parents a sideways glance to let them know that it was working on me, but they pretended not to notice.

Then it dawned on me.  I am the crotchety lady that shushes other peoples kids.  Maybe it was all the trips to the cardiologist, maybe my patience had been worn paper thin trying to get my own children to listen to me for half second.  Each “Can you do it for me?” “Not now, Mommy.“ “No way, Jose.“ scratching one more layer from the surface.  One would think, out of politeness, I would be less overtly bothered by other people’s children, but the truth is I have to save that rigorous acting job for when mine send me over the edge.  So as my son would say to my daughter, “Too bad, so sad.”