5 Things Your Baby Should Never Wear

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By Lyz Lenz

This week, JC Penny pulled a t-shirt marketed to girls that had the words, “I’m too pretty to do homework, so my brother has to do it for me,” scrawled across the front. The shirt was intended for girls 7-16, but that age group isn’t the only ones immune from this trend of inappropriate clothes for girls. When my daughter was born, I was inundated with pink dresses and ironic onesies. While I don’t object to pink, I do object to onesies that announce my baby is “hot” or “needs an agent.” And I don’t think I’m being an uptight mom, there is something really wrong about a baby girl wearing a shirt that announces, “Pretty kitty.”

Go to the next page to see the top five items that are completely inappropriate for babies…


Pretty Kitty
A well-meaning relative sent this onesie with a cat and the words, “Pretty Kitty” underneath. I didn’t have the heart to tell her why it got returned.  But it makes you wonder, who sits down and thinks, “I wonder if moms will notice this?”

“Talk to my agent”
It’s hard enough to raise a kid who isn’t a spoiled, fuss pants without a onesie giving them a false sense of entitlement. I understand people think their babies are fabulous, and they are, but perhaps we don’t need to raise them to be diva’s just yet.


High Heels
The title of the company is heelarious, but really there is nothing funny about shoving your baby into stilettos before she can walk, or roll over, or even know how to say, “Do you take Visa?” Besides, she’ll grow up mad you didn’t splurge on Baby Jimmy Choos.


It’s hard for mom’s to feel sexy after giving birth. So, try splurging on a spa treatment, get a sitter while you hit the gym, buy new lingerie, but do not, buy your baby a onesies that announces you as a MILF. Not only does it disturb people on deeply Freudian levels, but being a MILF is like being a good mom, if you have to put it on a onesie, you probably aren’t one.


I’m Too Sexy for My Diaper
I get it, parents are trying to be funny. But maybe it’s the hormones or the late nights, but telling the world that your baby is “sexy” is more disturbing than it is deserving of an LOL.  Now a oneise that says “Storm Pooper” that’s worth a chuckle or two.

About the Author:
Lyz Lenz is a writer, a mom and a midwesterner. Although, not in that order. She lives in Iowa and on the web at LyzLenz.com

“I don’t think I’m being an uptight mom, but these onesies just seem totally wrong…”

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