By Lyz Lenz
On one of my first outings alone with my daughter, I carefully packed the diaper bag with wipes, diapers and enough outfits for twins to have a wardrobe change. I had everything, except, burp cloth. Ten minutes into our trip to the mall, my daughter spit up all over the front of my shirt and we had to go to the bathroom for paper towels, which left brown fibers on my shirt and old served to smear the spit up into a giant wet spot.
I felt embarrassed but pressed on. We went into a store and the sales woman who offered to help me, pointed to my shirt and asked, “You’re a new mom, aren’t you?”
“Why?” I asked slightly offended. “Don’t all moms have spit up moments?”
“Sure, but most moms remember to bring burp cloths. Do you want to buy a new shirt?”
I didn’t buy a new shirt from her and I have since learned that the sales woman’s assertion isn’t exactly true. Every mom forgets essential things—diapers, wipes, clothes—and sometimes more than once. Here are the top five embarrassing new parent moments. Consider yourself warned. And feel free to leave your embarrassing mom moments in the comments.
1. Milk leak
On my first date with my husband after our baby was born, I was having so much fun, just sitting and talking about something besides the color of poo that I didn’t notice the giant milk stains, slowly forming around my boobs. The waiter did and asked if I wanted a towel for my “spill”. I said no thank you and we left shortly thereafter. Lesson learned: Never leave home without breast pads.
2. Poo Stain
I was so excited to fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes, that when my daughter was 3 months old, I wore white to a Sunday picnic. Two hours into the picnic, a nine-year-old informed me that I had poop all down my dress, by pointing at me and making loud gagging noises. While, I don’t blame the kid, I do wish he would have stopped doing it even after I went home and changed.
3. Ill-timed spit up
Babies spit up, this is a well-known fact for most parents. But it’s a truth that is sometimes elusive to others. At an outdoor concert, my husband and I ran into some friends who asked to hold our baby. We said sure and the baby proceeded to spit up all over the man’s, apparently, fancy and expensive pants. I offered to pay for dry-cleaning, but fortunately they were able to laugh it off. But it’s enough to make you consider having potential baby holder’s sign a waiver.
4. Bad-mom moment
From using sugar to pacify a child to leaving the baby unattended on the changing table for a quick minute while you grab a clean onesie, we all have bad-mom moments. But even more mollifying than having a bad-mom moment alone is having one witnessed. After trying to find the elevator in a department store, I decided to just haul the stroller and the baby up the escalator. It was naptime and my daughter was just moments away from a meltdown. An older woman stopped me and guided me to the elevators (hidden in the back of the store behind the return counter), lecturing me the whole way about how hauling the stroller on the escalator wasn’t safe.
5. Dumb-mom moment
Our babies aren’t the sole source of our embarrassment, sometimes we have no one to blame but ourselves. After arriving to a restaurant for a lunch date, a waitress asked me if I wanted a high chair for the baby. “No, she’s six weeks old,” I said. “She can’t sit.” The waitress looked at me and blinked rapidly before nicely explaining they had seats that fit the baby carrier. I had no idea. I heard the waitresses laughing as I was led to the table.
What’s your embarrassing mom moment?
About the Author:
Lyz Lenz is a writer, a mom and a midwesterner. Although, not in that order. She lives in Iowa and on the web at LyzLenz.com
Milk leaks? Poo stains? Consider yourself warned.
