A Toronto couple has decided to raise their third child, Storm, as genderless…refusing to tell family and friends whether or not the 4-month-old baby is a boy or a girl.
The parents of the “gender-neutral” child, Kathy Witterick, 38, and David Stocker, 39, have two other children (both boys), named Jazz and Kio. The family was originally profiled by the Toronto Star, and have since been the topic of many heated debates.
In the article, the parents discuss their rationale behind the now infamous decision:
“When the baby comes out, even the people who love you the most and know you so intimately, the first question they ask is, ‘Is it a girl or a boy?’” says Witterick, bouncing Storm, dressed in a red-fleece jumper, on her lap at the kitchen table.
“If you really want to get to know someone, you don’t ask what’s between their legs,” says Stocker.
When Storm was born, the couple sent an email to friends and family: “We’ve decided not to share Storm’s sex for now — a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm’s lifetime (a more progressive place? …).”
Their announcement was met with stony silence. Then the deluge of criticisms began. Not just about Storm, but about how they were parenting their other two children.
The grandparents were supportive, but resented explaining the gender-free baby to friends and co-workers. They worried the children would be ridiculed. Friends said they were imposing their political and ideological values on a newborn. Most of all, people said they were setting their kids up for a life of bullying in a world that can be cruel to outsiders.
Witterick and Stocker believe they are giving their children the freedom to choose who they want to be, unconstrained by social norms about males and females. Some say their choice is alienating.
In an age where helicopter parents hover nervously over their kids micromanaging their lives, and tiger moms ferociously push their progeny to get into Harvard, Stocker, 39, and Witterick, 38, believe kids can make meaningful decisions for themselves from a very early age.
“What we noticed is that parents make so many choices for their children. It’s obnoxious,” says Stocker.
What are your thoughts on what these parents are doing? By hiding their child’s identity, do you think they are just placing their OWN limitations on the child?
By not revealing the sex of their baby, are the parents causing more harm than good?