Mom’s should be supportive right? I mean we are all embarking on the biggest adventure and challenge of our lives! We all want what’s best right? We want to raise smart, healthy, independent children. (Unless you don’t. Unless you’re the one person who wants to be different in which case, I give you major side eye!). But in reality Mommyhood is more divisive than political parties.
-Natural Vs. Epiderals.
-VBAC vs. Scheduled C’s
-Formula Feeding Vs. Breastfeeding.
-Disposable diapers vs. Cloth Diapers
-Bed-sharing vs. Crib Sleeping
-Working Moms vs. Stay at home moms
-Blondes Vs. Brunettes (ok so that’s not a baby-issue, but now that I’ve brought it up I do think my adorable strawberry blonde wee one is the cutest)
People feel more passionate about these things than they do universal health care or gay marriage!! On any given mommy board on any given day and there will be a debate over “the issues”. But the judgment doesn’t just extend to the out reaches of the internets.
Go to your Starbucks at 8 months pregnant and order some coffee. Your barista may not say something, but you’ll get the look, and you’ll know. She may even have the nerve to slip you a decaf. Judgment.
Tell someone you want to give birth to your first bundle of joy naturally. Most responses will be filled with sarcasm, humor, snark, and maybe an eye roll for good measure. Judgement.
Tell your old fashioned Momma that you are going to wear your baby, and you’ll hear all the reasons why it’s bad for the baby to do that. Judgement.
Give birth to a baby that within a week is above the 100th percentile. Strangers will tell you to feed her less, friends will tell you how much they fed THEIR baby because their baby was a good solid average size & family members will send you articles about childhood obesity. Judgment.
Birthing a baby (by any means) apparently certifies us to know what’s best not only for our children (if only we DID have all those answers) but for every other child in the world!
So what do you do to prevent being a victim of Mommy-Judgment? Grow.Thick.Skin. It’s the only real solution. Learn to walk away from the old lady at the grocery store who tells you you’re feeding your child too much. Simply ignore the glares from the friend who you just told that you are returning to work because you need to feel that satisfaction. Just say thanks to the caring family member who forwards you endless articles about how co-sleeping will kill your baby. Make jokes at the Mommy Play date when you pull out your bottle of formula while they are all nursing their wee babies (telling them you are feeding your child poison so that he doesn’t grow up to be big and strong usually takes the wind out of judgy-sails). These are only the baby-Mommy-topics. Before you know it there will be a whole new set of topics that you’ll realize puts you on the opposite side of the fence from those you care about—and maybe some you don’t.
Not taking things to heart is a good practice to start now. After all your teenage daughter is going to tell you she hates you. Your six year old son is going to tell you he wants to go live with the neighbors. If you don’t learn to toughen up against the judgment now…you’ll never get out of this Mommy-hood ride alive!
Sometimes, Mommyhood is more divisive than political parties.